Things I Wish I Knew
~ Deb K.
Why is it that in death people become larger than life? Why do we think about all
the things we didn't do and gloss over all the things we did. Why does time always
run out quicker than we think? What do we do with the pieces of themselves they
leave behind and the pieces that remain of us?
How do we answer and deal with people who aren't comfortable with our fragments, who
want us to be whole, and who we were, not just a shadow of ourselves. How do we keep
going when each day seems harder than the one before? How do we heal our broken
hearts? Do we?
I think about each person I have loved who has died. Each person whose dying left me
struggling with the same questions as the one before. I wonder why the answers are
so hard to find. I wonder if they weren't, would it matter anyway.
I wonder what they are thinking. I wonder if they are thinking. Do they miss me,
like I miss them? Do they feel the pain I am feeling? Does believing they are in a
better place take away my right to grieve? Do I really believe they are in a better
place or are those just words I have learned to say?