Read an excerpt from Yvonne's book, From Spice to Eternity to see how she found some peace in her agony.
Chapter 11 - A Soothing Touch
Cilantro: Cilantro leaves are of the plant of which coriander is the seed. Unusually, the flower is not useful except to notify that the leaves are now bitter and not suitable for use as cilantro. This herb is thought to be rich in Vitamins A and C.
Like most other herbs the leaves of the cilantro have been used medicinally for ailments like upset stomach, providing a soothing healing touch. It has a distinctive soapy taste and many persons are hesitant to use it.
Cilantro is used in several world cuisines. It is used a lot in Chinese cooking as well as in Indian foods. More recently it has become a favourite in Mexican dishes.
“It hurts Lord” I moaned from the depth of my being. It was the kind of gut-wrenching pain which follows the loss of a loved one.
As I lay there experiencing wave after wave of pain, nothing penetrated the fog of my mind - not the fact that five years before I was also torn by the pain of his mother’s death, nor that he had in his own way, contributed anxiety and stress on to the family by his rebellious behavior.
All I could think about was that my grandson had gone missing in some strange circumstances and all efforts to find him had proven futile. Would it would have hurt less if I knew what had happened to him, rather than having these questions relentlessly bombarding my mind? Where is he? Is he alive? Will I get a telephone call one day giving me the news I so desperately wanted? It’s now been one hundred and eighty-two agonizing days - days filled with prayer, wondering thoughts, hope and despair.
The mix of emotions alternated with monotonous regularity. His face always before me, filled my thoughts. Any unnecessary thought was pushed aside. “I’m never going to recover from this Lord!” I groaned.
The tragedy of the shooting death of my precious daughter Helen, had taken me to a place of pain which made me almost numb to what was happening around me.
Eventually I had learned to cope. I understood that death was but a pause. I would see her again at the resurrection with Jesus. But my grandson’s disappearance was an unknown factor. How was I to deal with this? Again the same questions repeated in my head. Sometimes they were a jumble of words spoken to no one in particular, disappearing into nothingness.
I wondered if Jesus was hearing my anguished cries until one day I got what I thought was an answer.
I reached for my Bible as I did every morning and turned to the day’s reading. That day it was the Gospel of John chapter 4 and verse 50.
I had read this passage several times before.
I had heard sermons preached around this miracle. So it was very familiar to me. But I read it again.
As I slowly meditated on the words, it hit me.
“Go thy way, thy son liveth”
“What Lord? Whose son? My son?”
“Yes, your son liveth” seemed to be the answer.
I’d hardly digested this revelation when countless other questions began to surface. Where is he? When will I see him? Is he going to come home?
As the more days and months passed with no answers to this last round of questions, the ray of hope and joy I had felt that day, faded.
The Lord knowing that His Word of hope would need refreshing, led me to that same passage again about a month later. This time as I read it the words, amplified and translated: “Go on with your life, your son liveth.” Instead of stopping there, I read on “And the man believed the word that Jesus had spoken unto him, and he went his way.” John 4:50. KJV
As these words sunk deep within me, they became a soothing balm. The gut-wrenching pain lessened. I felt life returning to my arms, my legs and I knew then that I was going to be all right.
Jesus had come to me and through the power of His word. He’d touched my pain and brought soothing relief to my hurt. Although my eyes had yet to see the revelation, I believed the word because Jesus had spoken it.
I continue to wait for the manifestation of God’s Word, but while I wait I no longer suffer the pain and anguish like before. Wherever you hurt, in whatever situation, Jesus is the soothing balm.
Excerpt from her book From Spice to Eternity: Discovering the main ingredient to a life of fulfillment and purpose by Yvonne Pat Wright. Available through Amazon.